Forgiveness and Learning to Forgive an individual’s inequity. To do so seems like an action is taken. However, it is, according to the dictionary, a noun, a byproduct, or derivative of the verb; forgive.
The definitions of forgiveness are; One (1). The act of forgiving; the state of being forgiven. And 2. The readiness to forgive.
I asked myself; how does one obtain a readiness to forgive another? How do you learn to forgive?
The first definition of forgive is; cease to feel angry or resentful toward. To pardon, an offender or offence. The second part of the definition is; remit or let off, a debt or debtor.
A few synonyms for both words are; pardon, reprieve, and vindicate/vindication.
I am confident we all have heard the statement “Forgive and forget.” In all honesty, for me, the oft repeated, hurtful, deeds, are impossible to forget. Especially when those deeds are perpetuated by people who claimed they love you. And the forget part is why, I have had a problem forgiving the wrongdoers.
It is not easy to let go of resentments and the feelings of anger. The hurt, and pain we felt when someone offended us either intentionally or accidentally.
I know, analytically, forgiving is extremely important. I also know it is extremely difficult to do so honestly, wholeheartedly, and with pure intent.
Forgiving is even mentioned in the Lord’s prayer saying . . ., ‘and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.’
The word as in that part of the prayer is another cause for my contemplation. And confusion. I have struggled with this for some time. Does the ‘as’ mean at the same time? Or does it mean to the same degree or manner with which I have forgiven? Either way, I know am severely lacking in the forgiveness department.
So, once again, I consulted the dictionary hoping for clarity. As, used as an adverb means; to the extent which is or does. As a conjunction, it is a word used to connect words, sentences, or force. This was informative in a part-of-speech way, but it still did not clarify the intent of the phrase in question. If you do not understand the intent of a phrase, you cannot understand the meaning. You are able to incorporate the message into your life?
To resolve this issue, I went to the Church website to find the answers.
There is a plethora of information about Forgiveness and Learning to Forgive on the church website.
We all know our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ died on the cross as payment for our sins. We also know we shall be forgiven for our foibles if we ask. However, I found much more is required of us than merely saying, “I forgive you.”
Under the law of Moses was: “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” This is revenge, not forgiveness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught the higher law of forgiveness. He stated we need to turn the other cheek and love your enemies. Read Matthew 5:39–44 for the exact text wording.
In my search for answers , an extremely astonishing fact about our inability to forgive others came to light. ; if we do not forgive others, Satan will have an advantage over us. I shall repeat it; if—we—do not—forgive— others, Satan will have an advantage over us.
To paraphrase Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “Jesus Christ did— not— say we were not allowed to feel true pain and sorrow. Hurt inflicted at the hands of others. Nor did he say we had to remain in toxic relationships. ‘ But we can rise above our pain only— when we put our feet onto the path of true healing.”
Forgiveness is a commandment. “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another . He that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord. For there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” This passage is in Doctrine and Covenants 64:9 & 10.
In teaching why, we should forgive, Elder Marion D. Hanks of the Presidency of the Seventy shared this memorable analogy. “There are two courses of action to follow when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. One may, in anger …, pursue the creature and kill it. Or— he may make full haste to get the venom out of his system. … If we attempt to follow the former, we may not be around long enough to finish it.”
Forgiveness and learning to forgive is not the only requirement necessary for our reentering the kingdom of God. Many good people are more interested in following the doctrines and commandments of men. They do it defending their sect or denomination, in performing manmade rituals. And they will not be allowed entrance into the kingdom of heaven. Because they failed to know and follow the Lord’s plan of life. These requirements were personally given to us and are recorded in the holy scriptures of Jesus Christ.
A paltry few of the enlightenments Jesus Christ gave us for reentering into the kingdom of God are;
- The apostle John say, “And hereby we do know that we know Him, if we keep his commandments.”
- ‘Mankind must know that only God is the true Eternal Father. And know Jesus Christ, is the son that God sent.’ When you know the living God and the living Jesus Christ, you will also know your divine relationship to God.
- “… let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God. …” (D&C 121:45. Wax in this phrase is not referring to Pledge or the yellow, sticky stuff bee produce. It means to increase in apparent size.
- Pray to our Father in heaven to “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness.” (Matt. 6:33.)
Truly knowing the living God and the living Jesus Christ is mandatory for reentering the kingdom of God. We cannot expect to live in the kingdom of God without truly know the Father and the Son? It would by equivalent to living in a mansion, shoulder to shoulder with strangers.
Truly know the living God and the living Jesus Christ, we will also know our divine relationship to God. Repeatedly, and in many ways, I found it stated that only keeping God’s commandments allows us to really know God.
With this knowledge, Heavenly Father gives us great blessings for forgiving all mankind and for keeping His commandments. (Read Doctrine and Covenants 64:10; and 130:21.)
These are just three of the blessings we shall receive from Forgiveness and Learning to Forgive;
- 1. Our testimony of Jesus Christ is strengthened.
- 2. You have more energy. Amazingly, it takes far more energy than you realize to maintain any degree of anger, hurt, and pain.
- 3. You feel the Spirit of the Holy Ghost with you more.
I know the scriptures are not merely providing us with reading material. Libraries, bookstores, and newsstands are filled with reading material. The scriptures provide us with an indisputable roadmap if we choose to follow it, to everlasting life. It instructs us on how Forgiveness and Learning to Forgive prepare us to reenter the kingdom of God.
After much reflection, an epiphany struck like a lightning bolt. I had not attained a readiness to forgive because I had not attained a willingness to forgive. Forgiving my offenders could not and would not happen until I made them understand. They had treated me unjustly and hurtfully. I had a right to those feelings. That right was held onto that right like a shield.
If I could make my offender understand, they would be ashamed of their actions and would never mistreat me again. My marriage counselor and I disagreed when she told me trying to make someone understand was trying to win. I now fully comprehend what she meant. Now I fully understand the true act of forgiving and forgiveness.
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