What do you want to be when you grow up, little one? How many times did we hear that when we were growing up? Was there a time when we were children that we could not answer that question? And the answer always came quickly and with enthusiastic clarity. I want to be a ballerina, a princess, a mom. A doctor’s what I’m going to be! Or a lawyer, an actor a football; a baseball; a hockey; a basketball star! The answer included, I want to be a teacher, an airplane pilot, a policeman, a fashion designer, a singer, a dad. And the list went on depending on what child was asked the question.
It didn’t matter what the answer was, it just mattered that at that time in our lives, we had a clear, well-defined idea as to what we wanted our life to be when we grew up. Now that we are adults, let me ask again, “What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you what you living person-part your response was as a child? Can you answer it as quickly and with as much enthusiasm and clarity as you did when you were a 5-year-old child? Or 6, or 10?” I know I’m not. And I know I don’t think about the dreams I left behind.
Why is it that the answer to that oft-asked question became harder and harder to answer, and came much less quickly once we paste the age of 10 or 12? There are as many reasons why as there are shattered dreams each child left behind.
Recently, I was asked a question along the same lines. What do I want to be when I grow up? The question was, and I’m paraphrasing, “Are you 100% happy with what your life looks like now? Or are there things you would like to do or have that you don’t do or have now?” After a small pause, the follow-up question, again paraphrasing, was “Do you have a plan to put into your life what’s missing?”
WOW! How the devil do I answer that? I’m not a fanciful child of 5 anymore. I can’t even begin to remember how to think like a child. That kid’s existence went by the wayside decades ago. And, folks, until I was asked those two questions, I was relatively happy with where my life was. Those two questions drop-kicked me out of my complacent comfort zone right over the uprights from 30 yards out.
Before I was drop-kicked into an alternate reality, looking at my life from an out-of-body perspective, I thought having enough money to cover the bills with a little leftover was good enough and I was happy I had reached that point financially. I was buying my first home. My SUV, I bought and paid for myself. My home, and everything in it, I had bought and paid for by myself. I loved my home. It was exactly the house I had always wanted and thought I would never own— with or without a husband.
The drop-kicking knocked the blinders off. I realized there were many things my just-covering-the-expenses lifestyle was leaving out. Granted, I didn’t go out to eat very often, nor did I travel too far from home. I was proud of myself. I did all of this without having to have a co-signer or inheriting it. So, I started asking myself, “Are there things you would like to do or have? What are they? Is it ridiculous to even think about the thing you don’t have and can’t afford on your present income?” In the ten years of owning my very first home, I imagined replacing the outdated cupboards, countertops, and stove. I envisioned new double-hung windows all around the house. And a laundry list of other upgrades I would like to make. Costly, but doable if I save.
As my head spun around and around with ideas and semi-remembered fantasies from childhood, I remembered something I once heard: “When the pain of being the same is bad enough, you’ll make a change!” I wasn’t really in pain unless you consider yearning for the unobtainable as unrecognized pain. Lest I forget, a few months earlier, I had made a change. Some unexpected, potentially preposterously costly events happened back to back leaving me feeling as if I were hanging over the edge of the financial abyss by my fingernails.
I needed money, fast! A door greeter at the local Walmart was out of the question for medical reasons. Age too. Then a message was whispered in my ear, ‘to take a look at that saved article’. I had downloaded and saved a job-related article some months earlier for future reference. It was now future reference time. After examining it a few times, I jumped in headlong even though the levelheadedness of doing so was highly illogical. One of those ‘what do you have to lose’ moments.
Back to the present!
Thankfully, those two disturbing questions were followed up with an action task to help me find the answers to them as an adult. When you don’t know what you don’t know, an action task is amazingly helpful to get you deliberating in the right direction.
The plan of action: Answer these five questions.
- What is your Why?
- Why are you in this business?
- What will keep you moving forward?
- How much money will it take to be debt-free?
- Does that include paying off your house?
- How much money will this take?
- How soon do you want this to happen?
- Will you stay in your business after you are debt-free?
- Why?
- How much money do you want to make annually?
- By the month?
- By the week?
- What do you want to do with this money if you are out of debt?
- For yourself?
- For others?
- How much money will it take to accomplish this?
- What is your core “Why”?
I felt like I was taking a High School Quiz! And I had not studied for the exam! Can you remember the feeling you got as soon as you walked into your classroom and the teacher announced, “We are having a pop quiz today?” For one thing, the ‘we’ part was ludicrous. You knew good and well the teacher was not going to take the test along with the rest of the class. For another, the teacher looked far too pleased with the announcement for the quiz to be an easy one.
I digress.
Let’s start with what is expected to be at the top of the list. Why are you in this business? MONEY! Granted I want money. It’s needed and extra is nice. But how much extra do I need realistically? Even though I have bought a Powerball ticket or two when the numbers have become unbelievably high, and fantasized about what could be done with it, it is just that: a fantasy! I don’t want so much that I could toss it around like it was confetti. The thought is foolish.
I have lived on little and was forced to do so. It was a reality to which I gave little thought. Just accepted it as the way my life was going to be from there forward. I learned to budget. It wasn’t easy wrestling that big New York Stock Exchange Financial Brass Bull to the ground and keeping it there. But I have done it for 9 years and am proud of the accomplishment. It was either that, or pick out a good-sized box in which to live.
In the ten years of owning my very first home, I imagined replacing the outdated cupboards, countertops, and stove. I envisioned new double-hung windows all around the house. And a laundry list of other upgrades I would make someday. I also listed all the places I dreamt of traveling to someday. Costly, but doable if I save. The promises I half-heartedly made to myself were piecrust promises to myself. Easily made, easily broken.
I had not given any thought to question #2 about the total dollar payoff amount. Nor could I answer it on a quiz. It involves math. Not my strongest subject especially with no calculator in hand. Even setting up a budget was a laborious, time-consuming endeavor. But with dogged persistence, I did it. Still not having done the exact math, I have, in my head, an estimated amount I would need. And it does include paying off the house. As to the timeframe; I could be impractically fanciful and say in one to two years. But if I am expected to pin it down to a specific date— the idea of boxing myself into a sure-fire-failure gave me apoplexy! And my heart can’t handle the rib-banging-pounding!
The whole point of the exercise is to learn how to set goals. How to put out to the universe what you want your life to be, when you want it to become that, and how to go about it. I am not sure I have satisfactorily answered all the questions put to me. Although, I have been assured there are no wrong answers to the questions. (Imagine a list of questions with wrong answers!). One thing I have figured out from this exercise is what the bottom line is I want for my life. I found my core “WHY”! Knowing what it is, this time, nothing shall make me miss the success boat. When all is said and done within the next 3 years, I want to live my life in STYLE. Be it flying first class to destinations to which I cannot drive in my new SUV or on US river boat cruises or RV trips anytime I take a fancy to leave my home.
Watch this video. The lady presenting is a genius at goal setting, time management, and organization. She will answer more of your questions in more detail than you can imagine. Once you have accessed this video, you will be able to return to it numerous times, just like I have, to build, refine, and expand, AND accomplish the goals for your best life.
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